The term digging for gold has hit a new low
Added 10/13/2009
Here we are at the 12th Octoberfest horror review and decided to go with the true Sid fashion of horrific B found no earlier then 1:00 am on a movie channel. This type of flick, as terrible as it may be, really screams the origin of what we love. And that is finding very obscure low budget films late at night to have a great laugh over. Despite it bringing our minds back to the great times in life Miner's Massacre was almost a complete waste. Now it wasn't a one star effort being that the zombie type revenge bent miner was pretty cool looking. Other then that with a few laughs it's something you will never have on a priority list.
Being the intelligent reader you are you can pretty much sum up where this one's going just from the title. We have a group of very unlikeable friends that discover a heap of gold, probably the chocolate kind found at a dollar store, inside of an old mine. Once they decide to remove the gold from the spot the spirit/zombie miner comes out looking to tear sh** up. His revenge is something of epic proportions in the laugh department. Some kills are so ridiculous you just can't help but enjoy them for being so thought provoking. Really just your average run of the mill idiot kill fest but still earned a couple stars to do it's laugh factor. If you're looking for a legit horror then look much further then this. As far as Sid stands, one view was enough. We most likely would have enjoyed it about the same even as 13 year old kids.
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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Worst. Movie. Ever.
Added 4/10/2009
This movie is a travesty. the acting is so bad it makes me sick and it has absolutely no thrills or chills. anybody who gives this higher than a one star needs to have their testicles removed surgically. It tries to copy friday the 13th and it fails miserably. any of those movies are 10 times better than this piece of sh--. I dont recommend this to anybody not even the people i hate. its terrible!!!!
0 out of 1 people found this helpful.
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Miner's Massacre Has Massacred The Horror Genre
Added 12/11/2007
Okay. Let's be honest. I love watching the horror movies sci-fi occasionally shows on weekends. One summer weekend, I ran across this and though it was going to be bad, but I never expected it to be this bad!
The plot was weak, the actors are corny, and the ending is atrocious. Seriously, if you are into SERIOUSLY awful films, this is for you. Otherwise, stay away, because Miner's Massacre has massacred movies.
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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Karen Black must have been desperate.
Added 11/29/2007
"Miner's Massacre" is your standard modern-day slasher with a little bit of sleaze and a lot of cheese, but virtually nothing to offer the horror genre. Borrowing from classics of the past, "Miner's Massacre" attempts to sell the villain Jeremiah Stone, a cold-blooded 49er who died but placed a curse on his gold, to the audience. Well, some of your typical idiotic twenty-somethings decide to go collect this gold upon receiving word from a friend that is within reach. Of course, the gold is cursed by the ole 49er and he is not about to let it go without a fight.
While fairly straightforward, "Miner's Massacre" has very little to offer the horror genre or its slasher sub-genre. The kills are pretty lame to be honest with you and the acting is for all intents and purposes pretty wooden to say the least. It is very difficult to take this one seriously, and it is actually a pretty boring movie overall. One of the many problems with this movie is that there are no likeable characters in this movie. To be perfectly frank, there are some very unlikeable characters in this movie to the extent that one almost hope the ole 49er will kill them all except for the fact that he is such a lame and generic attempt at a horror villain, made in the mold of a Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers style, but not nearly as convincing. The villain, Jeremiah Stone, also cannot be taken seriously and this another reason the movie comes off as a total joke.
I love slashers, but this one just cannot be taken seriously at all. Many slashers are not meant to be taken seriously, but most of the really good ones attempt to create some horror at least to some extent, a la "He Knows You're Alone", "Madman" (perhaps it is cheesy at times, but it comes up with the goods when it counts), "The Burning" and "Black Christmas". However, "Miner's Massacre" is really nothing more than an unintentional comedy and while some people like these types of movies, I find them dull and boring. In essence, "Miner's Massacre" has absolutely ZERO style and essentially zero substance to hang its hat on at the end of the day. Every now and then I run upon a good slasher flick, but every one I do find, I find ten or more like "Miner's Massacre" which is for all intents and purposes a complete waste of time. Sadly, I have seen much worse, however.
3 out of 3 people found this helpful.
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Lots of fun!
Added 2/16/2007
The movie is so bad, it's hilarious! The actors(?) are comatose, the story line has been done to death, it's not at all suspenseful and the ending is pathetic. This is a must see. Really, don't pass this one up.
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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The term digging for gold has hit a new low
Added 10/13/2009
Here we are at the 12th Octoberfest horror review and decided to go with the true Sid fashion of horrific B found no earlier then 1:00 am on a movie channel. This type of flick, as terrible as it may be, really screams the origin of what we love. And that is finding very obscure low budget films late at night to have a great laugh over. Despite it bringing our minds back to the great times in life Miner's Massacre was almost a complete waste. Now it wasn't a one star effort being that the zombie type revenge bent miner was pretty cool looking. Other then that with a few laughs it's something you will never have on a priority list.
Being the intelligent reader you are you can pretty much sum up where this one's going just from the title. We have a group of very unlikeable friends that discover a heap of gold, probably the chocolate kind found at a dollar store, inside of an old mine. Once they decide to remove the gold from the spot the spirit/zombie miner comes out looking to tear sh** up. His revenge is something of epic proportions in the laugh department. Some kills are so ridiculous you just can't help but enjoy them for being so thought provoking. Really just your average run of the mill idiot kill fest but still earned a couple stars to do it's laugh factor. If you're looking for a legit horror then look much further then this. As far as Sid stands, one view was enough. We most likely would have enjoyed it about the same even as 13 year old kids.
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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Worst. Movie. Ever.
Added 4/10/2009
This movie is a travesty. the acting is so bad it makes me sick and it has absolutely no thrills or chills. anybody who gives this higher than a one star needs to have their testicles removed surgically. It tries to copy friday the 13th and it fails miserably. any of those movies are 10 times better than this piece of sh--. I dont recommend this to anybody not even the people i hate. its terrible!!!!
0 out of 1 people found this helpful.
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Miner's Massacre Has Massacred The Horror Genre
Added 12/11/2007
Okay. Let's be honest. I love watching the horror movies sci-fi occasionally shows on weekends. One summer weekend, I ran across this and though it was going to be bad, but I never expected it to be this bad!
The plot was weak, the actors are corny, and the ending is atrocious. Seriously, if you are into SERIOUSLY awful films, this is for you. Otherwise, stay away, because Miner's Massacre has massacred movies.
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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