The Covenant
Added 9/14/2009
I had never heard of this movie until my son told me about it. He knows how much I loved Twilight so he thought I would like it. No, it's not about vampires. It's in a class of it's own. I loved this movie. I've watched in five times so far. It is great.
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THIS SUCKED, AND IT SUCKED HARD 3.5 OUT OF 10
Added 5/12/2009
Holy hell almighty! No wonder critics hated this film so much (A rating of only 3% fresh on RottenTomatoes.com). I knew this film was going to be really stupid, but damn it sucked worse than I thought it would! Shame on these producers because they are the same producers behind the excellent horror-action Underworld films, and shame on the director too; Renny Harlin who directed Deep Blue Sea and Die Hard 2 (Both great films). Bad Sony Pictures! Bad! This film is incompetent on just about every level and was obviously created for teenage girls; the same teenage girls who went crazy for the God-awful Twilight film. While this film is above the quality of the awful Twilight film because it has more interesting ideas to boot, but it still sucks pretty damn hard. The teenage girls will be the only ones who like this film about teenage warlocks with six-packs who shave their body hair. If this doesn't appeal to you then just walk away.
WHAT IT'S ABOUT: There are four brothers who are known as the 'Sons of Ipswich' at Spenser Academy who are more than 300 years old and hide their powers because in the 17th century their kind were being killed by witch hunters. So they hide their powers away from most people. After awhile they meet a new student who seems like a fairly likable friend, but then they realize "Oh s***, the banished fifth brother has returned!" Now they must use their powers, rescue their damsels in distress, and destroy the fifth brother. LAME. The story is a cluttered incoherent, convoluted, and abysmal mess of storytelling.
MUSIC: This was obviously designed for teens... and it sucks. I hated the music, it wasn't horrible like Twilight's but this score still sucked pretty bad.
ACTION: This film is loaded with stupid special effects, cheesy fight scenes, it's stuffed with cliches, hot women who are too stupid to save themselves, and scene with a locker room of naked men, YAY... The only quality that can be derived from this atrocious film is the fact you can laugh at some parts because they're so bad that they're funny. Other than that you are left with one truly awful supernatural thriller. On top of the cheesy action scenes you are treated to an incredibly boring film as well. Crappy, crappy, crappy.
ACTING: These actors were terrible and there were no redeeming qualities to their acting. The dialogue was also a horrid mess that can't accomplish being even remotely believable. But that probably doesn't matter to the teenage girls this film is geared towards, they'll love any male actor who they is hot despite their horrid acting.
OVERALL: Unless you are a teenage girl who is intent on seeing this film just to fantasize about guys with six-packs and no body hair, a pointless and hackneyed storyline doesn't matter to you, if bad special effects amaze you, and if you enjoy terrible musical scores then by all means watch this film. As for the rest of us we'll just go watch Underworld instead.
THE GOOD: Those "so bad it's funny" moments.
THE BAD: Everything else
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Strictly For The Gen Y Crowd
Added 4/25/2009
Oh boy, what a dopey, poorly written, poorly acted piece of garbage. The special effects are a joke. The main characters all graduated from the Paul Walker/Hayden Christensen school of acting, which is not a compliment unless of course you enjoy watching completely emotionless, wooden, and monotone performances. Plot, you want plot, well it's male model witch vs male model witch in an epic showdown filled with all of the poor special effects you can handle. Oh yeah, there's also some dopey chicks thrown in for good measure, you know, for the proverbial love interest/damsel in distress who needs rescuing subplot.
In case you're wondering, no, I did not pay good money to see this in the theater. I caught in on cable because there was absolutely nothing else on and because it was free.
This is a movie for gen y tweens who I'm sure will love it, as they typically don't care about stuff like plot, pacing, acting, script, or special effects quality. A little beefcake/T&A, lots of "stuff" on the screen to satisfy their short attention spans, and a sappy subplot love story and they're happy. Everyone else will most likely not be happy with this movie, not at all.
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Nude Ipswitch Male Student Rave
Added 1/31/2009
A next movie of a who-knows-what-for mix of modern cars and Dark Age stories slightly watch-able for comic hints deploying some same gender affairs, handsome young actors not ashamed to strip before cameras and techno-tricks substituted a real human professionalism of Jackie Chan et al.
Something like The Lost Boysbut even lesser sensible.
1 out of 1 people found this helpful.
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The Covenant was...
Added 1/23/2009
This was just a solid and entertaining flick. I'm not saying it's a film on par with Citizen Kane, but you can get your popcorn ready and at least have fun. It was based on a comic book, which was specifically developed for a film adaptation. Good stuff all around.
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