This movie LITERALLY jumps the shark
Added 11/19/2008
An amateur movie producer finances a trip for two braindead surfers to venture into danger (make Keanu proud, brah). The concept: Find a guide to take them to shark-infested waters, drop in some chum, go surfing. Genius. Eventually they find a drifter and his woman, a breastless seductress who does some sort of cross between an erotic Lambada, a seizure, and a hyper aerobics routine to get attention (think Hillary Swank possessed by Richard Simmons). The guy is a complete ripoff of Jon Voigt's character in Anaconda and inserted into the movie strictly to antagonize viewers. They all make their way to the surf-site, and the shoot looks good - except for the laughably CGI'd sharks "swimming" beside the surfers, so fake that they made me think of the Saturday Night Live "Land Shark" delivering candy-grams - until a shark blows up. Yeah, it explodes.
A few scenes later, a 50-foot salt-water crocodile appears out of nowhere, appearing out of the darkness to chomp a cute Islander chick and her family in half. The crocodile was probably taken from the director's toddler son's toy-chest. It was probably also responsible for the previous explosions, because later on it appears to set off some C4 on a bamboo bridge. Read that again. Back to the ridiculously fake crocodile...which looks worse than the sharks. This thing jumps 10-feet out of the water, jumps off of cliffs, runs as fast as a deer, plays opossum, has read War and Peace, does a bit of land-surfing in its spare time, makes a mean margarita, and appears to understand basic military strategy. It's almost as unstoppable as Frankenfish.
Following the rules of "so bad it's good" movies, the chicks are hot and show full-frontal nudity at the drop of a hat. Except for the skinemax sex scene between the gnarliest surfer and the islander chick (who gives it up so quickly her first words were most likely "love me long time"), the action is wretchedly sense-deadening. The movie's poor excuse for thrills trigger the onset of narcolepsy. The acting is atrocious. The script was probably written on extra soft Charmin or bar napkins. Aside from MST3K possibilities (which I typically love), the only positives are the surfers' hilariously comatose stupidity and the boob to film length ratio.
The filmmakers should be black-balled from cinema for this ocean full of suck. Either that or sent to Bollywood. I'd only recommend this trash to people who enjoy the exquisite feeling of sinus migraines.
3 out of 3 people found this helpful.
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Routine horror movie
Added 2/11/2008
Blood surfing is an occupation that involves self-mutilation by gashing one's legs so severely that the blood will lure sharks which the surferv then races to shore by riding on his sur foard.(It scarcely sounds like a pastime that would attract the more Conservative and buttoned-down elements of society!)
A troupe of blood surfers turns up in South East Asia with a movie crew in tow,the idea being to make a documentary about the phenomenon and sell it to a cable TV company.They hire a boat crewed by a grizzled old veteran of the waters and his flighty daughter .The problem facing the crew is greater than sharks however as the area is home to a giant crocodile which is eating the sharks and is hellbent on doing the same to the human interlopers into its domain
The scenario has overtones of Lake Placid and of Jaws but is an inferior retread of both .The scene where the skipper is reralting past incidents of humans being chomped on by crocodile is a crib from Robert Shaw's big scene in Jaws ,for example.The characters are largely unsympathetic ,it is slackly directed and porl;y acted with variable effects .It is suitable for lovers of low rent exploitation only
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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giant croc + cheap buget = fantastic fun
Added 1/2/2008
this movie was great! it had everything you want in a fantastically terrible movie: campy story, pointless violence and nudity, cheesy acting and most importantly a terrible looking Crocodile! what fun!
2 out of 2 people found this helpful.
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Blood Surf
Added 9/22/2005
You have the whole movie in a nutshell from the above plot description. However, it was just plain awful! I love all types of horror movies and I will admit that I saw this one.
The whole thing was just a mess. The acting was so bad that you were cheering on the croc to kill off the actors.
If you want to waste some time and have to see this one I would suggest that you borrow it from someone who has it or wait for a re-run of this on the sci-fi channel. Save your $!
2 out of 2 people found this helpful.
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So Silly It Works
Added 9/2/2005
Though three stars is probably a little too generous, "Blood Surf" is a sufficient film for its genre. It has lots of silly surfer music with plenty of silly dialogue AND a silly looking crocodile that's fake from the word go. But, this film still managed to hold my attention because it seemed to revel in the fact that it is a bad movie.
The story is pretty standard as far as creature features go. Deep in the bluest of waters lies an ancient crocodile out for blood. A film crew seeks out the best waters to do a little blood surfing, a.k.a. surfing with sharks. Unfortunately for them, they decide to do a little surfing with a croc from Hades. There's also a salty sea captain with a grudge against the ol' crocodile. Bloodletting, explosions, and comedy ensue.
The actors in this flick seemed to be enjoying themselves quite a bit. Kate Fischer, of "Sirens" fame, makes "Blood Surf" worth watching on her looks alone. However, the rest of the cast does a pretty good job hamming it up on the screen, especially the surfer dudes.
As stated before, the surfer music is horrendous. Dick Dale wouldn't find himself within ten yards of this "surf" guitar music. But the stupidity of the music only makes the film that much better.
You really have to love the creature genre in order to understand why this film is what it is. Many folks probably won't "get it" when so much of this flick turns out to be high on the cheese scale. In my opinion, it's a funny little movie and deserves at least one look.
Recommended to fans of bad sci-fi cinema and creature features in general.
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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This movie LITERALLY jumps the shark
Added 11/19/2008
An amateur movie producer finances a trip for two braindead surfers to venture into danger (make Keanu proud, brah). The concept: Find a guide to take them to shark-infested waters, drop in some chum, go surfing. Genius. Eventually they find a drifter and his woman, a breastless seductress who does some sort of cross between an erotic Lambada, a seizure, and a hyper aerobics routine to get attention (think Hillary Swank possessed by Richard Simmons). The guy is a complete ripoff of Jon Voigt's character in Anaconda and inserted into the movie strictly to antagonize viewers. They all make their way to the surf-site, and the shoot looks good - except for the laughably CGI'd sharks "swimming" beside the surfers, so fake that they made me think of the Saturday Night Live "Land Shark" delivering candy-grams - until a shark blows up. Yeah, it explodes.
A few scenes later, a 50-foot salt-water crocodile appears out of nowhere, appearing out of the darkness to chomp a cute Islander chick and her family in half. The crocodile was probably taken from the director's toddler son's toy-chest. It was probably also responsible for the previous explosions, because later on it appears to set off some C4 on a bamboo bridge. Read that again. Back to the ridiculously fake crocodile...which looks worse than the sharks. This thing jumps 10-feet out of the water, jumps off of cliffs, runs as fast as a deer, plays opossum, has read War and Peace, does a bit of land-surfing in its spare time, makes a mean margarita, and appears to understand basic military strategy. It's almost as unstoppable as Frankenfish.
Following the rules of "so bad it's good" movies, the chicks are hot and show full-frontal nudity at the drop of a hat. Except for the skinemax sex scene between the gnarliest surfer and the islander chick (who gives it up so quickly her first words were most likely "love me long time"), the action is wretchedly sense-deadening. The movie's poor excuse for thrills trigger the onset of narcolepsy. The acting is atrocious. The script was probably written on extra soft Charmin or bar napkins. Aside from MST3K possibilities (which I typically love), the only positives are the surfers' hilariously comatose stupidity and the boob to film length ratio.
The filmmakers should be black-balled from cinema for this ocean full of suck. Either that or sent to Bollywood. I'd only recommend this trash to people who enjoy the exquisite feeling of sinus migraines.
3 out of 3 people found this helpful.
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Routine horror movie
Added 2/11/2008
Blood surfing is an occupation that involves self-mutilation by gashing one's legs so severely that the blood will lure sharks which the surferv then races to shore by riding on his sur foard.(It scarcely sounds like a pastime that would attract the more Conservative and buttoned-down elements of society!)
A troupe of blood surfers turns up in South East Asia with a movie crew in tow,the idea being to make a documentary about the phenomenon and sell it to a cable TV company.They hire a boat crewed by a grizzled old veteran of the waters and his flighty daughter .The problem facing the crew is greater than sharks however as the area is home to a giant crocodile which is eating the sharks and is hellbent on doing the same to the human interlopers into its domain
The scenario has overtones of Lake Placid and of Jaws but is an inferior retread of both .The scene where the skipper is reralting past incidents of humans being chomped on by crocodile is a crib from Robert Shaw's big scene in Jaws ,for example.The characters are largely unsympathetic ,it is slackly directed and porl;y acted with variable effects .It is suitable for lovers of low rent exploitation only
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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giant croc + cheap buget = fantastic fun
Added 1/2/2008
this movie was great! it had everything you want in a fantastically terrible movie: campy story, pointless violence and nudity, cheesy acting and most importantly a terrible looking Crocodile! what fun!
2 out of 2 people found this helpful.
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