Good execution of a crazy plot device
Added 3/3/2010
The movie was very good. It had a lot of humor and was on some levels a spoof of other B horror movies. It has good pacing and some nice gore to keep you on your toes. If you happen to watch Nip/Tuck, you'll notice an actor from that series as Dawn's step-brother.
Dawn is played by Jess Weixler and is very cute - that doesn't hurt the movie at all. She does a great job of playing the transformation that happens to her character. She starts out as a very goody-goody teenager who's very active in a sexual abstinence group.
Things happen along the way and she is a very different person by the end.
I'd recommend Teeth. It's definitely worth a watch.
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To be sung to the tune of Jake the Peg
Added 2/12/2010
[Chorus:]
I'm dawn O keefe, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With my extra teef, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
In retrospect, not where you'd expect
So people should show me respect
Coz I'm dawn O'Keefe, Diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With my extra teef, diddle-iddle-iddle
My step-brother tried touching me, with shock he nearly died
It nearly bit his fingers off, he cried and cried and cried.
Cos I was born with surplus teeth, I've got an extra set.
I had to join the group and proclaim the creed
That you can't even pet.
[Chorus]
I had a dreadful sexlife really, my boyfriends more than moan,
Coz when they try it on with me, it bites right through the bone.
I really was quite popular, the boys they were a dreaming
But when they got their peckers up
They couldn't breathe for screaming.
[Chorus]
I had a bad stepbrother, he really was a martyr
He obsessed until again he met, the vagina dentata.
It wasn't his finger this time chomped, coz he wanted more
His dog couldn't believe its luck
and ate it off the floor.
I'm Dawn O [stops to think]
...Ew, that's too gross
I'm dawn O keefe, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With my extra teef, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
There are some people I have missed
This includes my gynaecologist,
He got a bit too personal and fingers, he lost three.
I'm feel empowered and so free, unless I say you can't touch me
Because I'm Dawn O'Keefe, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With the extra teeth... diddle-iddle-iddle-um
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great concept with uneven execution
Added 1/11/2010
The whole concept here is golden. Take the myth of the vagina dentata and everything related to it, add some teens trying to remain pure but failing, oblivious parents, a horny stepbrother who objectifies all women, and a girl who does not yet realize the implications of what lies inside of her--though she learns fast.
This is a very dark comedy that was mis-marketed as a horror film. That's part of the problem. Also, there are some slow parts that could have been filled up better, there should have been more dialogue, and the character development is sketchy at best.
Still, it is certainly worth a look for what works.
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Plot not dentata
Added 1/9/2010
A promising concept spirals into cliché melodrama, when Dawn O'Keefe discovers that her vagina has teeth. Occasionally funny and thoroughly crude, the overall delivery just came across superficial and powerless.
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Insert Vajayjay Reference Here
Added 12/29/2009
Once every few decades, there comes a movie that you have to love. No, I don't mean that it's such a good film that saying it's a bad movie will destroy all your credibility of a film critic or "that guy at the bar that knows everything about movies." I mean, you have to love this movie for fear of being labeled a sexist, or racist, or a fascist because it is such great social commentary.
Just think, if Thelma and Louise had Cameron Diaz and Tori Spelling as the lead roles, the story-line still would have called for recognition, and anyone who thought it was bad would be labeled an instant "woman-hater." In horror, the movie "you had to love" not too long ago was Ginger Snaps. Why? Because someone thought of the already rehashed idea of using the menstrual cycle in comparison to lunar cycles and threw a werewolf story into it? Didn't they already do that horribly in An American Werewolf in Paris? But if you say anything bad about Ginger Snaps, you aren't "sympathetic to the plight of women."(Yes, an actual quote from someone on an online message board.) What about that smorgasbord of a film Crash? I happen to like that movie, but there were plenty of annoying plot jerks that I'm sure a few people in the world didn't care for it. Does that mean they're racist? No.
Which brings us to today's sociological experiment of a film, Teeth, directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein. The plot of this movie is simple: We have a film sequence of a soon-to-be happy family of two broken families, with a step-brother and step-sister playing in the pool underneath a view of a nuclear power plant. The children play "doctor," and the boy's finger is cut by an unknown source. Ooooooh, the suspense.
Present day: a teenaged girl, Dawn(played by Jess Weixler), proudly struts her virginity, and is the spokes-person for some fanatical anti-sex group that advocates no sex before marriage. Yes, they wear little rubber-band rings as their "promise" not to have unclean thoughts, because they're married to Jesus or something.
Enter Tobey(played by Hale Appleman), who is supposed to be some stand-up Christian boy. To me it looks like he decided to follow Dawn around, and B.S. her about how he's saving himself for marriage and such to get in her pants. So Dawn and Tobey begin "dating," which means holding hands, blushing when Tobey gives Dawn a peck on the cheek, and swimming in one-piece bathing suits. Hows 1950's-ish. Finally, Tobey has enough of his whole "no sex" lie, and attempts to rape Dawn. The attempt ends with Tobey screaming, Dawn screaming, Tobey disappearing, and a great shot of Tobey's severed penis on the ground. Uh-ooooh, seems like Dawn has a little problem. No WONDER she was a no-sex advocate.
Dawn becomes depressed, and reads all about the legend of the vagina dentata. She goes to visit a gynaecologist about this, Dr. Godfrey(played by Josh Pais). The gynaecologist turns out to be male and, of course, a pedophile, which is o-k since he gets his. His fingers are cut off by Dawn's va-jay-jay, and she runs away.
Dawn goes home and finds her Mom half-dead on the floor, and her step-brother banging his girlfriend.(Side note: he's scared of the va-jay-jay). She runs off, into the arms of some guy named Ryan. He drugs her up, and they have sex, safely! The next morning they are about to bump skins again, but Ryan does bad by answering the phone while they're going at it and it turns out Ryan was trying to sleep with Dawn on a bet, so Dawn's hoo-hah has another snack.
Dawn becomes comfortable being some sort of super-heroine, and decides to go after her brother Brad. Apparently Brad only likes anal sex with women, but Dawn coerces him to have normal intercourse, which ends with Brad bleeding all over the place and his dog chewing on his severed penis. I'm sorry for the long synopsis, but I felt it was necessary, since one of my problems with this film was plot structure. I forgot that it wasn't A-B-C simple.
Portrayed as a horror/black comedy, the film Teeth works on a few levels. The idea of sex as a weapon, as much as it has been done, is always great for a few laughs if done correctly. Yes, in this instance correctly could mean having a penis-eating vagina. I can even look past Tobey hounding after Dawn, and never really being abstinent. The abstinence club itself is ridiculous, in the comical way, not the annoying way.
The penis shots were the only visually horrific spots of the movie. It wasn't done as a pornographic depiction. They were more like props, especially since they were not attached to their hosts, ever(visually).
So what is it about this movie that irks me? The story is a bit slow for a horror movie. This can be problematic to some viewers. Normal horror aficionados want a lot of blood and gore, and this movie doesn't deliver too much. At the same time, the gore that is there may disgust drama and black comedy buffs. This movie is good, but inconsistent with itself. It's not a good genre jumper, like Shaun of the Dead or Severance. I think it may end up alienating more genre followers than entertaining.
The biggest problem I have with this movie is minor, but detracts from the film in a major way. Each part of the movie, introduction, Act 1, Act 2, and Climax, are bookmarked by these stupid-looking smoke-stacks from, we're guessing, a nuclear power plant. I don't like things sketched out this precise, especially when it has nothing to do with the story. There is no mad scientist at the plant trying to create the perfect woman, or penis and vagina monsters. If you want to say "Hey look, nuclear pollution created Dawn's hoo-hah demon!" then say it once, and be done with it. If the viewer is intelligent enough to swim through your muddled storyline, I'm sure they can figure out your "Nucleer Powr Iz BADD" premise.
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