North goes South
Added 9/10/2009
"North" is probably one of the worst children's movies ever made. It makes "Warriors of Virtue" look Oscar-worthy, or "Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings" look like a timeless epic classic. It's THAT BAD. Roger Ebert hated it, and, unlike "Batman and Robin",it made him feel unclean. It's a dubious achievement for director Rob Reiner, who made the enchanting "Princess Bride." Where's Inigo Montoya to tell this movie that it killed his father,and it should be prepared to die?
"North" has George and Elaine of Seinfeld-- Jason Alexander and Julie Louis-Dreyfus- cast as constantly arguing parents. Unlike the Duggars who are fortunate with 19 kids, they're stuck with their only Annoying Genius Child-is there any other kind?- North (Elijah Wood). North passes out from a seizure while they're arguing--and the first thing George says? "Loosen his pants!" While vulgar humor has become de rigeur in children's movies, "North" set the stage for it. North divorces his parents. He goes to Texas, where Reba McEntire is a cannibalistic mother who eats her own kids. Then,off to Alaska where the elderly are euthanized on icebergs. And there's also Hawaii,with plenty of tasteless humor. In the meantime,one gets to behold Bruce Willis in a pink bunny suit. Okay, NOW I get why Grace Slick sang about the WHITE rabbit--they're the good kind(!!!) Elijah Wood's bland acting makes no impression whatsoever. He's not so much annoying--as well-- emotionless. There is no there there.
"North" has notables like Alan Arkin (as a judge), Ben Stein, Jon Lovitz. SO many famous names--such a trashy movie. There are bad movies that are so bad they're good--think of ED (not Elijah) Wood's "Plan 9 from Outer Space." But "North" is so bad--it's AWFUL. Purify your mind by watching something by bitter former child star Kenneth Anger,or Alejandro Jodorowsky's "Holy Mountain","El Topo" or "Santa Sangre" instead. "North" is BEST avoided. Do it for yourself. Do it for the children.
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Theres no place like home
Added 8/29/2008
This movie is really great! Bruce Willis is great and so are all the other actors. It reinforces the idea that you can't choose your family but in the end they will always be there for you. Even thought someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Watch it, it's great!!
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If they outlawed paddling, the cane and CHILD MOLESTATION... they should outlaw this
Added 3/25/2008
by Dane Youssef
Here is a movie so wrong-headed, wrong-hearted, wrong-made... so worng, you'd think the old axiom of a broken clock that's right twice a day would prove. But nope. It doesn't. Not by a long shot.
One of my most depressing experiences as a child was seeing Rob Reiner's "North." In fact, as extensive internet research has shown me, it was a painful experience for many as children and stayed with him throughout adulthood.
One of the worst movies of the year. One of the worst movies of the decade. One of the worst movies ever made. One of the worst ever. And when I say "worst", I'm comparing it to thinks like the Black Plague, the Holocaust, World Hunger, AIDS and Leperocy.
Elijah Wood is a wonderboy who is constantly ignored by his parents despite his best intentions and efforts that make most parents beam like the sun with pride. He spends a lot of time feeling ignored and sits in a chair in a furniture store at the mall to think. He decides he deserves better parents than the ones he's got (who doesn't?) and divorces them.
His folks are comatose from shock, but who cares? He's already in search of better ones.
He travels all over the globe and finds surrogate folks which are not right for him. Not loving, caring, nuturing... or very funny or interesting.
His best friend from school is enthusiastic about the divorce and gets the word out to all parents that children deserve better and thing better change or else.
I was actually in physical pain watching how badly the film's plot is handled.
While it is a thrill to see Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus together as a married couple and action legend Bruce Willis in an easter bunny suit... believe me, it doesn't last. The bad outweighs the good. Oh, HOW the bad outweights the good.
The big-name celebrity bit-players are many: Dan Aykroyd, Reba McEntire, Jon Lovitz, Bruce Willis, Graham Greene, Abe Vigoda, Richard Belzer, Ben Stein, Alexander Godunov, Kelly McGillis, John Ritter, Scarlett Johansson, Lauren Tom and Alan Arkin. Films with a big-name cast doing walk-ons is kind of tricky. Often this leads to a bunch of actors embarassing themselves in bit throwaway roles for a quickie paycheck and "the sake of work." It all really depends on the film itself--the screenplay and the director.
When a film with such a high pedigree of actors and filmmaker, Mr. Rob Reiner, you have to wonder why this whole damn thing went so incredibly wrong. And then kept going. And going and going. I am reminded of the legendary quote, "Only those who dare to fail greatly, can achieve greatly." And just about all who flaunt this picture have achieved greatly at one time or another. So... there you go. The ying to the yang.
The result can be "Traffic" or "Gosford Park." And the result can be "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues" of "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas."
You know, it's funny. When I first saw the trailer for "North," I thought to myself, "Wow. This looks like a good movie. I'm gonna see this one." And yes, the trailer damn well made this look like a good one. It just goes to show you... advertisements can make anything look appealing. Hey, remember "Babe: Pig In The City?" The ads didn't make the movie look like much. But the movie was... wow.
Hey, come to think of it-- I would like to advise to eveyone who was unfortunate enough to see any more of this one that what they used for the trailers (so much as a frame more) to go out and rent "Babe II." It's an ideal antidote.
Of course, you may need a few days of bed rest and antibiotics right after seeing "North," but after that... please... don't let this one put you off movies. Or any of the truly gifted people who were associated with this abomination.
Wood is one of the most talented actors ever to grace the business and the man seems unable to do a bad job on screen. Just check out "Radio Flyer" or " for evidence. But hey, like I need to tell you, right?
But while his acting is on-par with Brando, Guiness, Hopkins and Kilmer, not every movie to come his way compliments his talents. Just after the disastrous misfire "The Good Son," this one floated it's way into theaters like a chunky, nutty, crooked turd after a whole year of improper diet. Adding further insult to injury.
It is perplexing--to the point of going cross-eyed and your whole head exploding "Scanners"-style--trying to figure out what in God's name the filmmakers were thinking.
Seriously, I actually picture Jesus H. Christ himself on the cross, thinking to himself, "I died for this... ? If I'd known, I wouldn't have bothered."
We all make mistakes, even collosal ones. Even the best of us.
Hell, especially the best of us!
Walt Disney was an anti-Semite. L. Ron Hubbard was a pedophile. R. Crumb is a racist and misogynistic sycophant. And I myself...
Well, I could go on, but you get the idea. Honestly, avoid this one about as much as you hepatitis A-through-Z. A sulfur plant leaves he aroma of an autumn meadow perfume compared to this one.
In summary, "North" is a childhood trauma that refuses to be repressed. For many, including myself. Don't let it be yours.
Still, we are all mortal. We are all human. We all make mistakes, we stumble, we falter.
No one of us are infallible. Rob Reiner has delivered us "When Harry Met Sally," "The Sure Thing," "This Is Spinal Tap," "The Princess Bride" and "The American President." Surely, we can forgive "North." Can't we?
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly."
And Reiner has clearly done both. Let us at this as one of humanity's greatest follies... and try to find laughter in it. Not at the movie itself, which is clearly impossible, but at the movie's expense.
Like many Jewish comedians have done with WWII, the Holocaust and the years of slavery they were subjected to in Egypt, this is just one more thing we have to learn to laugh at. Not with, AT.
OK, Mr. Reiner. You are officially forgiven. Good luck... and let's hope another abomination like this isn't in the works.
Peace...
by Dane Youssef
2 out of 5 people found this helpful.
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North is GREAT!!!
Added 10/17/2007
I have seen this movie multiple times and LOVE it! It is so cute and deserves to be on DVD. I know that the critics gave it poor reviews, but everyone that I know that has watched it loves it. I definitely recommend it to families. It is a classic 90's movie.
1 out of 1 people found this helpful.
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Head North young man!
Added 6/7/2007
I first saw this film when it came out in 1994, but was fighting health issues which made it impossible to get out and buy a VHS copy of the film. Nice to see it available on Amazon.
It's hard not to love Elijah Wood in any role he plays. I knew when I first saw this film, this kid was destined to do something great in Hollywood: So guess who wasn't surprised when he got casted to play Frotto in the series of films entitled; "Lord of the Rings". The books were great to read when I was in my teens, but I always had wondered who would play Frotto one day, when the books were made into films. Well, though Elijah had not been born yet back in those days of my youth, he makes a perfect Frotto in my view with the Trilogy of films.
I loved this film for a few odd reasons: Having grown up in a disfunctional, abusive family, like many in my generation experienced out of the 1960's; I had often wished I could have done what Hugh North (played by Elijah Wood) did in this film and that's divorce his parents. Hugh North is a bright wiz kid; great at scholastics, sports and anything he puts his hand to, whose parents don't seem to even have a clue what a great kid they got from heaven as a son. Except in my case, I would have not gone back to my original parents if I had divorced them. I think I might have settled for the family Hugh finds that had John Ritter as the father. That would have been more my speed.
The film is certainly a light comedy with a profound message: "As bad as anyone's parents might be, apparently, God in His wisdom picked the ones best suited for us". However, this does not mean the best laid plans of God don't go eschew when it comes to free will. So it has been my long experience with life and living anyway; a message this film tries to also drive home it seems.
This film sort of has a happy ending, as Hugh's adventure, we find in the end, culiminates with him almost being murdered to save the cause to free all kids from their overbearing, controlling parents. But instead of being shot, he wakes up and finds his entire adventure has been nothing more than a dream and that his parents really do love him. Otherwise, Hugh's adventures to find a different family are funny and fun to watch. Elijah is adorable in this. This kid has one of the most pretty young male faces I've ever seen in kid actors. What ashame no one thought to do a series of Astro Boy movies back in this time period. Hollywood was staring at the perfect kid to play Astro Boy back then in my opinion. He looks just like the old 1963 anime character, both as Tobio and as Astro.
Bruce Willis, as I recall, first appeared on the Hollywood scene in the TV series "Moonlighting", long ago, when I was much younger. He plays Hugh's angel or conscience in all of this, while constantly appearing as different characters thoughout the story. Willis's characters play a Godly type presence, the part of unconditional love watching over Hugh North, never judging Hugh, but helping him to see what he has in the end ain't so bad.
John Lovitz plays Hugh's attorney. Lovitz obviously had fun with the role; an easy role to play I might add.
Hugh's parents; played by Jason Alexander and Julia Louise Dreyfus are histerical as Hugh's parents, who, for the most part, stay in a comatose state throughout the majority of the film after they learn their son wants to divorce them. In fact, the opening scene where Hugh North (Elijah Wood) is found sitting at the dining room table with his parents, listening to his parents not listen to each other, finds Hugh about to have a total anxiety attack he thinks is a heart attack, which only made me laugh histerically: The poor kid!
I could not help but think back to my own parents when they would talk and not listen to each other before they divorced each other when I was age 10, while fighting for each others attention and how I was constantly in the middle feeling I was being suffocated by their fighting to be heard. I could equate in other words with Hugh North, except my scenario was not funny. In fact, my generation came from allot of families like this, which is why my generation had such a high divorce rate as I grew up.
While I realize this film did not do well at the box office, it did well on TV simply for those of us who could equate to this type of scenario as kids. One of the reason's why it did not do well at the box office might be because those from my own generation were only all too well reminded of the disfunctional home they grew up in and didn't want to be reminded. Those who grew up in loving homes, I would think, would have trouble with this film, simply becaues it would look unreal to them. For me, the reverse is true, looking at families that get along looks unreal to my own childhood, simlpy because I did not grow up in a family that got along all that well. So I suppose it depends on what side of the fence you are coming from in your experiences growing up, that make this film appealing or not appealing.
I was allot like Hugh North in this movie when I was growing up; extremely bright, a good kid, a prodigy, wanting to do right, but getting crucified by the family I grew up in. Wish I might have had the option to make North's choice as a boy, which is why I like this film so much. It's a good fantasy for anyone who can equate to a family they wish they had not been born into.
For those of you who have children and order this film, you shouldn't think this film will give them any ideas if you are a family that respects and loves each other, however if you are not, it might give your kids ideas with the way our legal system is these days. These days kids can divorce their parents if they want to. Just know this stroy is fiction and actually allot of fun to watch. Lots of top named stars were in this film and oddly enough the whole chemistry of the thing works for me.
The VHS tape came in surprisingly great shape. No defects on the video tape or the box. Delivery was on time. No real complaints. I'm so glad this was at least on VHS. I've so wanted this in my library for years. Thanks Amazon for making it available and now in my home library.
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