leave no plate of glass unshattered . . .
Added 12/26/2009
The official sequel to Universal Soldier (1992), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) is a lower budget continuation of the saga that offers little that is new, and is disappointing in most every way. Granted, the original film was like a comic book, and far from classic science fiction, but the concept was somewhat interesting. Unfortunately, the quality of script and production values of the sequel, is several levels below the original. The opening action sequence involving a boat chase in a swamp, is actually the most exciting and well-executed action scene in the entire movie. Nothing that follows makes much sense, or seems very believable.
Jean-Claude Van Damme returns as Luc Deveraux, the former universal soldier (Unisol), is now an advisor for the revamped UNISOL 2500 program. Once again there are problems, both with unisols going berserk, and with the master computer named SETH that is in control of each Unisol. When the Department of Defense decides to close down the Unisol program, SETH acts to keep the Unisols viable, employing Romeo (Billy Goldberg), a hulkish unisol with an evil grin, as his point man. SETH is a talking computer, voiced by Michael Jai White, who mechanically issues audible commands. Even in 1999, a talking computer used a device to explain plot elements, was pretty lame.
The storyline in the sequel is that Deveraux married reporter Veronica Roberts, played by Ally Walker (Profiler) in the original movie. Veronica has died, leaving Deveraux with a daughter, Hillary. Fitness expert Kiana Tom (Bodyshaping) makes her feature film debut as Luc's assistant Maggie. When SETH takes over the facility, Maggie gets Hillary to safety, although the girl is injured and requires hospitalization. Meanwhile Deveraux continues to have a thing for reporters, this time it is Erin Young (Heidi Schanz) who has lost her cameraman and needs rescuing. Schanz is dressed like TV's Nancy Drew, and bears a slight resemblance to Ally Walker. Her character is soon in the familiar role, of the scared chick tagging along for the ride.
The best is yet to come, as SETH takes human form, inhabiting Michael Jai White's fabulously well built body. Led by Luc, the army mounts an assault on the facility, with disastrous results. Needing a secure computer line, Luc and Erin naturally wind up at a strip club, for some gratuitous nudity, and bouncer ballbusting. SETH needs a security code from Deveraux, and kidnaps Hillary from the hospital. Romeo continues to inflict damage, claiming Maggie as one of his victims. Back in the lab, Deveraux's battle with SETH features some athletic maneuvers and fancy footwork, with almost a dozen glass panes shattered along the way. Too bad for SETH, he winds up in pieces himself. For all his talk, he accomplished practically nothing. Without making sure his daughter is safe, Luc sets off a huge chain reaction explosion that takes the down the whole facility, and the remaining unisols, bringing this poorly written and acted mess, to a close. Action fans may get a few laughs from The Return, but if this atrocious film is memorable, it will probably not be for a good reason.
The dual sided disc contains both widescreen and fullscreen versions, and also has a few special features, including a Van Damme featurette, some workout tips from Michael Jai White, and short making of featurette. Not much, but better than nothing. Of interest to fans of the franchise, is the upcoming direct to video release of Universal Soldier: Regeneration, scheduled for February 2, 2010. The film features original stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, as well as MMA's Andrei 'Pit Bull' Arlovski. A preview clip is available at Amazon, with the early buzz, apparently on the positive side.
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I love Jean-Claude
Added 10/27/2009
I think this movie rocks. I always have. I love Jean-Claude he's so sexy. I wish there were more movies out there like this and the first movie but they wouldn't be the same with out that sexy accent.
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Plenty of Van Dammage in this above-average "B" movie
Added 10/26/2009
This Van Damme movie has everything you'd want in a "B" action movie: a waterski chase, heroes thrown through walls of glass; unstoppable cyborg villians, and a strip club scene (just because). Not much gab, the action is fairly continuous. I would give it 5 stars, but "Body Shaping" hottie Kiana Tom is underutilized and disappears after the first few minutes.
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The end of JCVD's American theatrical run 4.5/10 Part 2 of my review on Jean Cluade Van Damme triple feature vol 2
Added 8/28/2009
This was the last theatrically released Jean Claude Van Damme movie. Don't say JCVD while I liked JCVD it was only released in select cities. Universal Soldier The Return was a huge flop in the fall of 1999 It stars JCVD as Luc Deverux extremely popular at the time pro wrestler Bill Goldberg as Romeo Hedi Schany as Erin Karis Bryant Paige as Hillary Deverux Micheal Jai White as Seth & Kiana Tom as Maggie. Story basically years after Universal Soldier 1 Deverux helps train the UNI SOL's the Defense Department wants to cut the program the UNI SOL super computer SETH becomes "self aware" taking control of the UNI SOL's & they start killing people so Deverux has the code to shut it down. The UNI SOL's have orders to capture Deverux. His daughter Hillary gets hurt she's put in the hospital then some insane computer nerd helps SETH & implants a chip into Micheal Jai White. Eventually Seth & Deverux meet up SETH kidnapps Hillary SETH & Deverux fight basically Deverux freezes him like T2.
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Terminator and War Games with a JCVD twist!
Added 6/1/2009
The Jean Claude Van Damme Review Matrix (JCVD-RM)
1. Who is he? Luc Devereaux, the only remaining Universal Soldier (UNISOL) from the first experiment. He now serves as technical expert to UNISOL 2500, the second generation, which has resulted in a stronger, faster, more deadly warrior.
2. Which family member/friend must be avenged? Not only does Dr. Dylan Cotner (Xander Berkeley) - the lead project scientist - get fried, but his daughter also falls into danger.
3. Does he take his shirt off? No, but Romeo (professional wrestler Bill Goldberg), the alpha male of all the UNISOLs, is constantly shirtless.
4. Does he have sex with a C-List actress? I hoped that there'd be copulation with his partner Maggie (Kiana Tom), but sad disappointment hit me when the credits rolled.
5. Is there a tournament? No structured tournament.
6. Is training needed for this tournament? As a regeneration from the first experiment, JCVD has all the training he needs
7. Does he do the splits in training or in the tournament? The splits are in full force when JCVD delivers a sack-stretching spin kick to SETH (Michael Jai White) - Self-Evolving Thought Helix - the advanced computer system controlling the new genetically enhanced soldiers that implanted its programming and consciousness into human form.
8. Does he punch someone in the balls? Since the UNISOLs don't feel pain, but need to breathe, the throat-shot replaces the groin-shot in this one.
9. Does he do a series of flying or 360 kicks? OMG! I'm dizzy!
10. Is his enemy unbeatable? SETH isn't quite SkyNet, and the UNISOLs aren't quite Terminators; so, JCVD has a manageable, yet difficult foe.
11. Does he overcome an injury or other hindrance? While Luc is battling the new and improved UNISOL army, he has to contend with an beautiful but irritating reporter named Erin (Heidi Schanz)
12. Does he win? Judgment day averted.
After one of the most ridiculous opening jet-ski, machine gun scenes in cinema history, Kiana Tom's shirt got ripped open for a bra shot. I immediately thought this movie, like Kiana, had potential. I was not disappointed.
When a Pentagon General (Daniel von Bergen) gets the nod to shut down the UNISOL program, SETH takes action to defend itself. Exhausting all options, Devereaux and gang try to shut SETH down manually and face resistance. Without a secret code, known only by Devereaux, SETH will shut down in eight hours; so, the computer begins military actions and decryption of the code ala the WOPR in War Games.
This is an enjoyable JCVD flick, but there are four problems I had with it. One, SETH was supposed to be five-times as fast/strong/etc. as a person, so regardless of how awesome JCVD is, it should have been a mismatch. Somehow, however, SETH doesn't avoid an awesome JCVD flying 360. Two, all of Bill Goldberg's lines should have been grunts. His physique is imposing, but his acting is terrifying. Three, the reporter Erin was completely unnecessary, and at times blocked the movie's flow like an infected kidney stone. And, four, Kiana didn't get naked (this may not be a valid argument).
Overall, this is JCVD fun. Tons of kicks. Even more gun-fighting and explosions. Decent acting, albeit with a diluted plot, makes this a good follow-up storyline and a mid-level JCVD movie, which makes it better than most action movies in general. Guilty pleasure awesomeness.
1 out of 1 people found this helpful.
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leave no plate of glass unshattered . . .
Added 12/26/2009
The official sequel to Universal Soldier (1992), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) is a lower budget continuation of the saga that offers little that is new, and is disappointing in most every way. Granted, the original film was like a comic book, and far from classic science fiction, but the concept was somewhat interesting. Unfortunately, the quality of script and production values of the sequel, is several levels below the original. The opening action sequence involving a boat chase in a swamp, is actually the most exciting and well-executed action scene in the entire movie. Nothing that follows makes much sense, or seems very believable.
Jean-Claude Van Damme returns as Luc Deveraux, the former universal soldier (Unisol), is now an advisor for the revamped UNISOL 2500 program. Once again there are problems, both with unisols going berserk, and with the master computer named SETH that is in control of each Unisol. When the Department of Defense decides to close down the Unisol program, SETH acts to keep the Unisols viable, employing Romeo (Billy Goldberg), a hulkish unisol with an evil grin, as his point man. SETH is a talking computer, voiced by Michael Jai White, who mechanically issues audible commands. Even in 1999, a talking computer used a device to explain plot elements, was pretty lame.
The storyline in the sequel is that Deveraux married reporter Veronica Roberts, played by Ally Walker (Profiler) in the original movie. Veronica has died, leaving Deveraux with a daughter, Hillary. Fitness expert Kiana Tom (Bodyshaping) makes her feature film debut as Luc's assistant Maggie. When SETH takes over the facility, Maggie gets Hillary to safety, although the girl is injured and requires hospitalization. Meanwhile Deveraux continues to have a thing for reporters, this time it is Erin Young (Heidi Schanz) who has lost her cameraman and needs rescuing. Schanz is dressed like TV's Nancy Drew, and bears a slight resemblance to Ally Walker. Her character is soon in the familiar role, of the scared chick tagging along for the ride.
The best is yet to come, as SETH takes human form, inhabiting Michael Jai White's fabulously well built body. Led by Luc, the army mounts an assault on the facility, with disastrous results. Needing a secure computer line, Luc and Erin naturally wind up at a strip club, for some gratuitous nudity, and bouncer ballbusting. SETH needs a security code from Deveraux, and kidnaps Hillary from the hospital. Romeo continues to inflict damage, claiming Maggie as one of his victims. Back in the lab, Deveraux's battle with SETH features some athletic maneuvers and fancy footwork, with almost a dozen glass panes shattered along the way. Too bad for SETH, he winds up in pieces himself. For all his talk, he accomplished practically nothing. Without making sure his daughter is safe, Luc sets off a huge chain reaction explosion that takes the down the whole facility, and the remaining unisols, bringing this poorly written and acted mess, to a close. Action fans may get a few laughs from The Return, but if this atrocious film is memorable, it will probably not be for a good reason.
The dual sided disc contains both widescreen and fullscreen versions, and also has a few special features, including a Van Damme featurette, some workout tips from Michael Jai White, and short making of featurette. Not much, but better than nothing. Of interest to fans of the franchise, is the upcoming direct to video release of Universal Soldier: Regeneration, scheduled for February 2, 2010. The film features original stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, as well as MMA's Andrei 'Pit Bull' Arlovski. A preview clip is available at Amazon, with the early buzz, apparently on the positive side.
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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I love Jean-Claude
Added 10/27/2009
I think this movie rocks. I always have. I love Jean-Claude he's so sexy. I wish there were more movies out there like this and the first movie but they wouldn't be the same with out that sexy accent.
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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Plenty of Van Dammage in this above-average "B" movie
Added 10/26/2009
This Van Damme movie has everything you'd want in a "B" action movie: a waterski chase, heroes thrown through walls of glass; unstoppable cyborg villians, and a strip club scene (just because). Not much gab, the action is fairly continuous. I would give it 5 stars, but "Body Shaping" hottie Kiana Tom is underutilized and disappears after the first few minutes.
0 out of 0 people found this helpful.
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